I finally carved out some time (thanks to my amazing husband for taking care of the baby on Sunday mornings so I have some uninterrupted time to go to yoga and a coffee shop) to get back to writing! 

Ah, breastfeeding. Something I both love and hate, depending on the moment. And an interestingly controversial topic, given that feeding your baby is one of the most innate “whoa, I’m a mom now” feelings I’ve experienced. I read a stat recently that breastfeeding for a year ends up equating to over 1,900 hours. If you do the math based on a 40 hour workweek (~1,800 hours), that means you basically have two full time jobs for an extended period of time (not to mention all the other things we as working moms have on our plates. #mentalload, amIright?). No wonder I’m so exhausted and cranky all the time. So PLEASE let’s all just stop with the shaming and guilt trips for those moms who can’t or simply choose not to breastfeed?  

While researching for this post, I came across an amazing blog titled “This is Breastfeeding…Living your life in 3 hour increments” and I legit teared up right here in the coffee shop. It’s these types of posts that make me feel the most seen. The women who find the words to perfectly describe what this experience is like. The ones who simply get it and aren’t afraid to say how much harder it is than they thought it would be.  

I think the fact that I currently have two friends who are pregnant with their second babies and both have independently told me how much they’re dreading breastfeeding says it all…this shit is not easy, and I’ll tell you what I told them: GIRL, FED IS BEST. Do what works best for you. If your mental health or your job or your body is telling you that this isn’t working, listen to it! While I do have a goal in mind (6 months, for those who are curious, but before you automatically decide that that should be your goal too let’s acknowledge the IMMENSE privilege that makes this so much more feasible for me than it does for many other moms. I work from home, have a nanny, am financially secure enough to buy all the parts and special clothes and accoutrements that make this easier, and have the type of job where I can pump during meetings instead of having to drop everything every three hours to sit there and milk myself like a bovine goddess), I battle with myself almost daily about whether I should just call it and switch to formula. I’ll probably write more about this in a future post, but when I was chatting with one of my close girlfriends about our struggles with slow growth, she shared that her daughter was the same way until they switched to formula and then she shot up the curve super quickly. Anecdotal, I know, but it’s hard not to put a ton of stock in these kind of stories when you’re exhausted and scared about your child’s health. Who knows where I’ll land, but in an effort to spread the love and wisdom, here are a few things that have helped make this job (because yes, it is a JOB) slightly easier…and a few things I’ve learned along the way.

1. Those first few days postpartum when your milk is “coming in” (basically a fancy term for transitioning from the thick, butter-like, low volume colostrum to what most of us would recognize as actual milk) are absolutely wild. A lot of things happened for which I had no idea whether they were or were not normal, including flu-like symptoms such as fever & fatigue (normal) to needing to supplement in order for your baby to not starve (normal, and huge shoutout to my girlfriend who pumped in order to provide us breastmilk over those few rough days. I still get verklempt when I think about that…seriously, get you some friends who will LITERALLY help feed your baby. So generous.) to a weird pins and needles sensation when your milk ducts are filling or your letdown is starting (normal, and something I still find super weird during feeding to this day) to nipples that bleed so badly they cause your baby to spit up blood (not normal, and the impetus for our daughter’s first late night ER visit at 4 days old. Thankfully the amazing doctors and nurses at the Primary Children’s emergency department figured out what was going on pretty quickly, which led to my first foray into exclusive pumping for a few days while my nipples healed). Which leads me to #2…
2. You will learn an entirely new language of breastfeeding terms and acronyms. From EBF (exclusive breastfeeding, which to some can mean literally only ever feeding from the breast and to others means feeding only breast milk but includes some bottle feeding) to exclusively pumping to somewhere in between (which is where we’re currently at), not to mention supplementation (giving formula or someone else’s breastmilk in addition to breastfeeding to help bolster food volume for moms with low supply), fortification (adding powdered formula to breast milk to increase the caloric density without increasing the volume), and combo-feeding (using formula for some feeds), there are a lot of ways to describe something as simple as feeding your child. We are currently on the fortification train to try and get our daughter more calories to see if that helps boost her growth. This is annoying and a ton of work, dishes-wise, but thankfully she seems to tolerate it well and we don’t have to do it for every feed. Exclusively pumping moms, I don’t know how you do it. I barely survived those few days while my nipples healed, and without someone else to actually give the bottles, I don’t see how you do literally anything other than pump and feed and do dishes all day long. 
3. This is very much an individual thing, but just because you’re breastfeeding does NOT mean the baby weight is going to just fall off. I have lost maybe two pounds since giving birth (some of which is definitely thanks to increased breast volume, and some is the persistent bellyfat thanks to the continued hormonal disruptions associated with breastfeeding and my body’s evolutionary advantageous wiring to keep some extra fat around in order to feel secure enough to provide sustenance for another human being), whereas some women are back in their pre-baby jeans a few weeks after giving birth. Try to do as I say and not as I do and avoid the comparison game. This is just another season of life, and there’s plenty of time to focus on that once you’re not working two full time jobs again. Also, please don’t try and cut calories back so much that you’re getting the shakes, stomach cramps, and almost passing out (see my previous post about low blood sugar vs. migraine symptoms).
4. While we’re on the topic of those pesky hormonal disruptions – breastfeeding is not an infallible form of birth control. There are plenty of Irish twins in this world who are here to tell you that you can absolutely still ovulate when you’re breastfeeding, so unless you want another newborn in 9 months, find another method. I actually just got my first postpartum period this week despite still breastfeeding full time, so apparently my body thinks it’s ready to do all that again?!?! (no thanks, let’s maybe give it a more than a hot minute). There are plenty of effective non-hormonal options you can use if you, like me, no longer find the idea of oral contraceptives enticing.
5. Thankfully this didn’t bite me in the a*s when I unknowingly took some Theraflu the first time I got sick postpartum, but I have subsequently heard of women for whom taking certain OTC medications completely dried up their milk supply. From what I’ve read, most meds are present in such minimal amounts in breastmilk that they shouldn’t be an issue for your baby, but I didn’t realize how many drugs there are that can impact milk supply. Another example is my new migraine medication, which can cause a painful milk ejection reflex (thankfully I had done a ton of research beforehand and discovered this little-known side effect before I took it so I had some idea of what to expect). Learn from my (and my friend’s) mistake and double check EVERYTHING before you take it.
6. Some products that I have found helpful:
   • GIANT water bottles (we’re talking 40+ oz) that you keep filled next to every spot you normally spend time, because the breastfeeding thirst is unlike any other I have ever experienced
   • Electrolyte packets (I personally love LMNT) for the same reason 
   • Haakaa clamshell milk catchers because the regular ones are incredibly un-ergonomic and awkward to use, but these are super helpful for not wasting the milk let down from the boob opposite the one your baby is eating from 
   • Reusable nursing pads. I tried several different brands before I decided to stop wasting my money on inferior products and decided to stock up on these ones. Buy more than you think you could ever need (I usually go through two pairs a day, one set of overnights and one set of the cute heart-shaped daytime ones)
   • If you can swing it, wearable breast pumps (I have this one from Elvie) and several extra sets of pump parts if you’re like me and hate doing dishes multiple times per day. 
7. Trust your intuition. There was a time when our pediatrician wanted me to try to cut out dairy to see if our daughter’s slow growth might be due to a cow’s milk allergy, and I struggled with the mom guilt of not wanting to go down that road for days (I have a history of disordered eating and that level of restriction genuinely terrified me) before finally reaching out to some experts for advice. Thankfully, my cousin is a former NICU nurse and current IBCLC (not to mention newly postpartum mom with her second baby) who recently wrote an article about the science (or lack thereof) of food allergens winding up in mom’s breastmilk (talk about fortuitous timing!).  After chatting with her and diving down the rabbit hole that is postpartum dietary advice on the internet (this podcast episode was a helpful starting point), I ultimately felt justified in pushing back on this recommendation (which ended up being more of a loose suggestion anyways once I cut through the game of telephone between our pediatrician, her nurse, and receptionist). Moral of the story (and frankly this entire blog post) – listen to your gut and do what works best for you and your family, whether that means breastfeeding for years, using formula from day 1, or somewhere in the middle.

To end on a fun note, here’s an analogy my hilarious husband made during one of our daughter’s many cluster feeding sessions: “It’s like a Power Hour – no way it’s time for her to eat again! WE JUST TOOK A SHOT!”. Until next time!

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